And Lastly There's Dave;

his hair dances in the wind, and he's wondering what love is, and why it has to end

and he can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends

(The Tide by The Spill Canvas)

this is how i often felt. it's hard for me to fall for someone yet when i do, i fell too hard that numb is what i can only feel. and when it subsides, the pain came to the surface, it's so hard and so long for me to erase the scars, let alone the pain away.

and how my first love is so hard to forget but i find it easy for me to retell the story. even though i don't have any pure feelings towards him, it's still hard for me to forget. i sometimes will squint my eyes when he logged in, or surprised to have him talked to me.

but everytime a someone speaks about love, all i could think was him, because that's my only experience with love. yet until this moment i still doubt myself, doubting the way i feel towards him. i still can't believe that's how love feels cause even though i have an attraction to him, i don't get all greedy or want him to be my boyfriend. i just simply sitting at the corner, watching everyone goes by, i let my feelings goes on without any demand. that's how i doubt myself. and even though it's done, i still can't define if it's love or how love feels